Day 5 of the Master Cleanse.

Today is the first real 'hurdle day' in this fast.  I didn't sleep well last night, and had super vivid dreams when I was sleeping.  When the alarm went off this morning, I was in a very deep sleep.  You might be wondering why in the world the alarm would go off on a Sunday morning.  I work at the local brewpub on Sunday mornings.  When I got to the pub in the wee hours, I was surrounded by yummy treats.  All kinds of snacky goodness.  A veritable cornucopia of tastiness.  Temptation was everywhere I looked.  So what did I do?  I had my herbal tea, several pints of water, my lemon/maple syrup/cayenne drink, and ignored the mound of oatmeal raisin cookies, the tower of double chocolate macadamia nut cookies, the burgeoning bucket of corn chips, and bag after bag of Ms. Vicki's sea salt and vinegar potato chips.  I averted my eyes from the colossal block of Swiss Cheese.  I denied the presence of shrimp.  I didn't even open the door to the walk-in refrigerator, knowing all might be lost if I did.  Beware all ye who enter here, and so forth.  No, I dutifully kept my mind on the task at hand and did my job as best I could, all the while turning a cold shoulder to the insistent rumble in my tummy.  When I finally finished up, clocked out,  and locked the door behind me, I felt a small sense of accomplishment......until I remembered that I was to stop at the supermarket for more lemons and cayenne pepper.  It wasn't over.  Not by a long shot.

In the parking lot of the supermarket, I bolstered myself for what lay inside.  I reminded myself that the spice aisle was adjacent to the produce, so I could grab cayenne and bolt to the lemon stand in just about a dozen steps.  I had forgotten what lay just inside the door.....pistachio nuts.....roast chicken....and an entire fort made of wonderful cheeses from around the world.  I was besieged by a feast!  An army of savory soldiers, all conspiring to lay waste to my resolve.  I charged ahead with a full-frontal assault, head down and fully determined to complete the mission as it was laid out for me.  The pistachios didn't stand a chance, even though they are one of my biggest weaknesses.  Upon closer inspection, the roast chicken looked dry and over-cooked...well past it's prime and in no condition to withstand my advance.  I even managed to skirt the fortress of delectable cheese without faltering significantly.  I was through the worst of it!  I rushed headlong into the spice aisle, rescued the imprisoned cayenne and turned for the produce section to free as many lemons as possible.  That's when I saw it......Cheetos (the crunchy ones, not those mamby pamby puffy ones) were on sale.  I felt my defenses begin to crumble like oyster crackers over New England Clam Chowder.  Even beset as I was, dear reader, I kept my head down and dashed to the lemon stand, ignoring carrots, celery, eggplant, and all the other goodness staring at me.  I scooped 2 dozen lemons into a bag and headed for the check-out without so much as a glance at the old world bread coming out of the ovens, or the well-lit case of donuts, crullers, and bear claws.
There was hardly another soul in the store, so I was through the check-out in a merciful amount of time and out the door.  I'd survived.

And now I'm once again in the safety of my own home with my plundered booty.
Crisis averted....for the time being.